Syed Zeeshan Ghazi – May 27, 2020
^{Edited by Rabhia Shuja}

There are certain parts of ourselves that we lose over time and we forget about them. Until we subconsciously, out of nowhere, think of them like a dream, forgotten right after you’ve had it. Later, you remember it part by part: some faded, some vague, and some clear as a crystal. And we start missing that version of ourselves, of what we used to be.

Sometimes, the past seems happier and nostalgic. Sometimes it seems cruel and you think it was a good thing that you got past that. But still, leave a bittersweet taste behind. You don’t hate it as much now, as much as you did back then. Maybe that’s what’s referred to as: time heals everything. Every wound, every pain doesn’t seem as bad, awful, and hurtful later on. And yet, when it was fresh, it might’ve taken you so long to get over it to become stable again. A weird point in time where you met certain people, loved certain people, or couldn’t find it in you to love certain people. 

The thoughts and memories then start coming back to you, like haunting ghosts. They follow you all day long or a whole week or maybe more, and burden your mind with the luggage that you had dropped long ago. It’s forcefully pushed back on you, whether you want it any longer or not. Those things, those people, those memories, make you sad and happy at the same time. You’re happy to let go but you’re sad to hold on. At times, you’re happy to hold on but sad to let go. 

Who cares? We do. At the end of the day, everyone does! At some point, at some moment, vulnerability finds you and you can’t help but reconcile with your past.