Muniba Aslam – March 8, 2019
^{Edited by Rabhia Shuja}

Life is full of new experiences. A journey that sometimes leads us to a path that we are unable to even imagine. It helps us to grow into a person that’s beyond our imagination. And as you look back at the events, you realize that the new version of yourself is the result of all the past expeditions and events. 

I recently read this beautiful quote, “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards.”

Today as I sat relaxed on the couch, sipping on a cup of hot coffee, I pondered on my past to search for what I had been through that made me who I am right now. Surprisingly the thing that stood out to me is common among all humans. I know it, you know it, everyone else knows as well…it’s pain. 

When I was in the 6th standard, we had to shift in an area called Jallo station in Lahore. It was an underdeveloped area and we had no other option but to live there. And so, a new era had begun. Prior to this, I did not face any restrictions in regards to what I wore because my family was open about it. However, when we shifted, new rules were introduced due to the environment of the area. I had to start wearing chadar (long shawl) at the young age of 12. 

I was told, it’s not you, it’s just the circumstances. 

So, I grew up within a society where my physical appearance had an effect on the image of my parents among the people. Because they didn’t think twice before passing a judgment. I faced many restrictions and had to leave behind many things because of the certain values people in that area had. I got backtracked in terms of technology because of the so-called morals. Being the eldest among my siblings, I was able to understand the responsibility my parents had and the pressure that came along with it. So, I made sacrifices along the way for my parents. I embraced the pain of letting go. Letting go off of the things I used to love. 

While it was a tough time, that experience has enabled me enough that I don’t see any environment as a hurdle to work in. 

“Nothing important happens in life without a cost.” 

Jacqueline Novogratz

Now, I am much more adaptable to all the circumstances. This pain is paying off as the time advances, by giving me confidence, values, commitment, and adaptability. I have realized that life is not roses and unicorns only. Those who bear pain and suffering are the leaders of life and their destiny as well.