Ayesha Arshad – June 20, 2020
^{Edited by Rabhia Shuja}

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want.

What if we have bad experiences that demotivate us?

We all have good and bad experiences. Life is not fair all the time. Things happen against our will and our expectations are hurt. But we have to stay strong and positive. Being optimistic, we see right even in bad experiences. They teach us things that we’re unable to see and comprehend. Sometimes hard work doesn’t pay off at the time, but we learn a lot from it and become a better person. If I want something badly enough, I’ll motivate myself to continue to fight until I get that. Determination, purpose, and consistency define your strength against your goals. You don’t have to let others explain it to you. It doesn’t matter if you fail on the first attempt. Don’t feel disappointed and discouraged. Stand again and get back with even more passion. You’ll have to be strong enough to overcome adversity.

Why is it necessary to lose something to understand its worth and how important it is to you?

The victory makes us feel good as if we had achieved something great, but it does not make us think and cultivate. It unfortunately does not make us better people. You don’t learn how to identify your weaknesses or figure out how to fix them. Because, you’ve already won.

Not winning helps you identify where you were lacking and the areas of improvement. The hardest part of life is learning how to ride with bumps when you think you can’t go on. Those who can look deep inside themselves and find ways to solve their failures without falling apart are those who ultimately succeed.

Why must one have to experience a failure to succeed in his life?

You don’t understand the worth of something you have; you only acknowledge it when you don’t have it. Pain and suffering make people realize their actual potential and help them soften their hearts, accept others’ pain, and develop empathy towards others. Pain and suffering give you the real taste of happiness. One should have dared to experience and know the learning outcomes.

I don’t want to be the person who doesn’t get to experience anything just because of the fear of failure or another insecurity. Instead, I want to be the person who dared to experience. Even if it results in failure because I believe failure teaches you something worth more than a success.

Why do we have to endure pain and suffering to enjoy the pleasure of happiness?

We need the pain to provide contrast for pleasure. Without pain, life becomes boring, dissatisfying, and completely undesirable. Like a bar of chocolate in a chocolate shop, we soon forget what exactly made our wishes so desired. Emerging evidence suggests that pain can increase the pleasure and happiness that we receive from life. Pain can also make us feel more justified in rewarding ourselves with pleasant experiences. Think about how many people indulge a little after going to the gym.

Why is empathy more critical than sympathy?

It’s good to live in a society that tries to understand other’s views and offers support to people who need it. The feeling of sympathy for someone is also positive because it is a recognition at the superficial level of someone’s feelings or the situation through which they pass. 

Being an empathetic person and feeling empathy is much more comprehensive. It’s an emotional reaction to someone else’s or a group of people. A genuine response can be bewildering because you perceive the feelings of the person or people you are communicating.